|| [ [ i feel -n u m b. ] [pg13]

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I never thought I'd feel this,

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Such an adorable little creature to have such a bastard of a father.

- The tall, lithe striped, water fused creature stood silently among a thick patch of trees, ears and eyes alert for any sign of danger or predator. For what was standing beside her was far too precious to let any kind of harm near it. The tiny creature was merely a few hours old; too young to realize what kind of a cruel world it lived in.

The small creature; a colt, Annabelle had named Ahriman. The mare's thoughts, since it wasn't really her own free will to be impregnated with it, and because of the foul nature of it's father, Ahriman would be a good name; meaning destructive force. The colt's birth, however, didn't hurt the mare as much as she thought it would. It was a fairly easy birth, and a very handsome colt. The first time Annabelle laid eyes on it, a small smile crossed her lips. He was too cute to have to have been a foal fathered by such a foul stallion. But he was, and Annabelle didn't know what sort of a personality the colt would portray.

To tell the truth, Annabelle was rather afraid of the foal. Because of it's dark lineage, she didn't have a clue as to how the creature would act like. What if it acted like it's father? Or would it act calm and like a gentleman? Only time would tell

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Guilty and I'm broken down inside!

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Lyrics` World So Cold by Three Days Grace
Muse`Eh
Speech` Sky Blue
Other`Sibby!

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[bg=green] Yamanu had kept his distance from Annabelle while she birthed that hellish thing. Partially, it was due to a stinging urge to kill the demonic spawn, but it also allowed him the chance to get some spying done. He had his ear to the wind on all that was happening in his father’s harem, but remained close enough to Annabelle’s vicinity were any sort of danger were to creep too close by. His spying was soon interrupted when news that both the foal and its mother were up. A quick snort of anguish for the moments to follow shot from his nostrils. He had to play nice – the foal was an innocent, right? Yamanu wasn’t too sure. However, he would allow it the same respect he’d received as a foal, the chance to live and prove how truly demonic it really was… Eyes traveled slowly from his companion to her new foal. He huffed, stomping a hoof as he observed his half brother. And, an annoying twitch overcame him at that very realization – he was related to that thing. “Are you okay?” He finally managed to murmur, peeling his eyes from the abomination. characters|| Yamanu word count|| 193 muse music|| three days grace ooc|| so short, sorry! –flails-

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[.r e e d.]

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I never thought I'd feel this,

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Such an adorable little creature to have such a bastard of a father.

- Blue eyes snapped away from the small creature suckling at her flank to what sounded like someone approaching. To her relief, it was just Yamanu. "Yes.." The mutt replied quietly, blue eyes looking down to the earth.

Annabelle felt rather uncomfortable standing here with the stallion's father's foal suckling at her side. She didn't really want to strike up a conversation with the stallion because of the birth. Even though Ahriman wasn't even that big or a tiring foal to birth, birth was still a very tiring process. Or atleast it was for Annabelle, this colt being her first foal.

"Ahriman." The mare stated quietly, throwing a glance to Yamanu before shifting uncomfortably. Annabelle slapped her hindquarters to rid the flies angrily, irritated by the small little insects.

Nervousness, anxiousness, embarrassment, fright. Multiple emotions were running through her body at the moment, afraid of judgment even though she knew Yamanu would never judge her for something she couldn't help. So why did she still feel this way? What was wrong with her? Why did she feel so ashamed, like she didn't deserve to be with him? Why was she ashamed of herself? Was this what every mare went through? Thoughts, some rather ridiculous and some just horrid. She was tired, tired of keeping this a secret from Yamanu.

Annabelle turned to look at Yamanu, and opened her maw to say three simple words, but, instead, she closed her maw and shook her cranium. The mare turned her head to look away, again.

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Guilty and I'm broken down inside!

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Lyrics` World So Cold by Three Days Grace
Muse`Eh
Speech` Sky Blue
Other`Sibby!

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[bg=green] He gave Annabelle a quiet nod as she responded, glad to see that she was feeling alright but knowing she must be worn from the ordeal. His eyes surveyed her body and he was again enlightened by scars of her encounter with Orpheus beginning to fade away. Maybe, one day, they might just be able to get past this all – oh god, he hoped so! As she spoke his name, the stallion could not help but look to the newborn colt, who until now, he had not realized to be a specific gender. Yet, knowing his name, knowing he was a real breathing soul, well, it did not ease his despise for the creature. He hated that foal with every fiber of his being. For Annabelle’s sake, he would grit his teeth and pretend otherwise. “He is a beautiful colt,” Yamanu murmured gently, pressing his head to her neck. He breathed upon her flesh with his warm breath, orbs floating back to the abomination, Ahriman. His crown lowered towards the foal, and his lips itched to bite him. Instead, he nuzzled the foals suckling form. Just as he had to play nice for the sake of Annabelle, so too must he be a kind figure to Ahriman for the foal’s own sake. Maybe, they could prevent the darkness from overcoming this one… characters|| Yamanu word count|| 222 muse music|| three days grace ooc|| -more flailing-

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I never thought I'd feel this,

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What have I been reduced to?

- Flinching, she coward away from his touch instinctively. Wide blue eyes fluttered shut, images of the ordeal flashing through her head wildly. The mare shied away uncomfortably, regret and anger surging through her body.

Annabelle opened her blue eyes quickly to glance at him with a gasp of terror, nostrils flaring. Had she really just done that? Was this what rape did to you? Twisted you into some frightened little pathetic being who was scared of the world and scared of being touched? But, it was only Yamanu. Orpheus had reduced her to a puny little mare afraid of touch just because she was carrying all of the wrong memories with her? What did that even mean?!

"I'm sorry.." Sputtering, the mutt's nostrils flared nervously. Her jaw tightened as her muscles tensed uneasily, regretting what she had just done with everything in her body. Not knowing what else to say, Annabelle turned her cranium to glance at the foal, who rather than suckling, was watching the situation with a rather puzzled look. The mare's lip twitched nervously as she surveyed the young colt, eyes darting with yet more nervousness.

That was what she was now. Nervous. All the time. That and afraid. Orpheus had turned the timid mare into a silent, cold little pathetic thing.

"It.." Annabelle began, but stopped speaking immediately. What was she to say? The one she had always loved was finally letting her in, and she was shutting everyone out.

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Guilty and I'm broken down inside!

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Lyrics` World So Cold by Three Days Grace
Muse`Getting Better!
Speech` Sky Blue
Other`Sibby!

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[sibber-chow]

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[bg=green] Glancing up from the young colt, Yamanu gave Annabelle a rather puzzled stare. What was she doing? It was then that he realized; she was scared of him. Yamanu didn’t exactly understand why though. What had he done? He hadn’t been there to protect her, but he thought she knew how sorry he was. The stallion whuffled uneasily towards his companion. And, then, she apologized. Ears flicked back as he shifted his weight uncomfortably. “Why are – don’t be sorry Annabelle. I should have been there to protect you. I’m sorry,” he whispered, backing from her a few paces. Was she shutting him out? Was she finally through with him? He had been so distant in the past; he understood that she deserved more than that. And, he was trying to change that for her sake – but maybe she didn’t want him to change. Should he have left when he had initially intended? Was that what she wanted? His mind reeled and his heart ached slightly. These were the emotions he fought so long to keep out… Weight shifted again as she cut herself short of something. “What is it Annabelle?” The stallion’s voice was eager, as if what she were saying were something he might die from if she did not utter them. characters|| Yamanu word count|| 213 muse music|| six: a.m. ooc|| lalala

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[.r e e d.]

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I never thought I'd feel this,

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What have I been reduced to?

- "It's not you I'm afraid of, Yamanu." Annabelle explained softly, shifting her weight before she continued. "I.. My body doesn't really like to be touched because of Orpheus. I didn't realize I had even done what I did a couple minutes ago.." The mare glanced around nervously. "It's made me nervous and afraid of this world, Yamanu. He's reduced me to a pathetic being.." The mare was nearly murmuring, uncomfortable to be discussing this.

"My heart says otherwise," The mare peered up at him quietly, half regretting what she had just uttered. Why was she fighting against herself all the time?

Deciding not to tell him more, blue eyes watched him as she remained silent. What was going through his mind? Was he actually beginning to fall for her like she had so long ago? Was he just being nice to her because they were merely friends? Why had he touched her like that? She wasn't used to this! It was driving her insane!

She was yearning, with every fiber of her being, to ask him, to take it another step further with him. Wait. What was she thinking? Annabelle mentally shook her head. Was she just thinking about wanting to breed with Yamanu? She must be crazy! She was just raped, just had a foal and Yamanu had barely shown a sign of attraction and she was already jumping ahead of herself and wanting to mate? Lord she must be insane.

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Guilty and I'm broken down inside!

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Lyrics` World So Cold by Three Days Grace
Muse`Getting Better!
Speech` Sky Blue
Other`Sibby!

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[sibber-chow]

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[bg=green] Yamanu nodded quietly as she spoke. He did not really know what to say, or if there was anything he could say that would make her feel better. He wanted to give her some sort of reassuring nudge, something, anything but decided against it. Considering her explanation and the recent ordeal, Yamanu decided he would give her space. He wouldn’t touch her until she reached out to him. He was scared to cross her boundaries right now. However, her next words made him shuffle in place and once again question his previous state of mind. What was she saying exactly? Ears shot up as he contemplated the meaning and could only derive one conclusion. He whuffled lightly to his companion before looking to the young foal and back at her. “I care about you, a lot, Annabelle. You are the one being on this island that makes me feel the need to be open.” An openness that scared him half to death, honestly. “But, given your current state, and the recent trauma your body has suffered – I worry that you are not ready to be rational about this.” A quiet snort escaped him as he found himself dissatisfied with the way he had worded that. He wanted her to know how much her companionship meant to him and how much he did not want to destroy that by being too rash. Eyes shifted back to the young foal at her side momentarily. He watched it with interest and disgust – what was going to become of this colt? Could, nay should he be in its life? Could he control himself and his rage around it? characters|| Yamanu word count|| 274 muse music|| six: a.m. ooc|| lalala

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[.r e e d.]

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I never thought I'd feel this,

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What have I been reduced to?

- Blue eyes looked to the stallion with a slight fury, a hoarse laugh coming from the striped creature. "You think after the four years I've spent with you, nearly five, that I would be lying about this? The nyfrio mutt asked in a nervous tone, two toned whipcord twitching.

She could tell him so much, tell him how her heart ached for him, how every fiber of her being was yearning to feel the feeling of his breath on her pelt, to bear his children. She wanted, no, she needed to spend her life with him.

Annabelle turned to nudge at her foal who was yawning sleepily. "Sleep." She motioned to a small, grassy, sunny gap in the trees with her maw, blue eyes stern. Ahriman obeyed silently, head drooping sleepily.

She then turned to face Yamanu. "The worst thing," Annabelle began, keeping a steady gaze on the stallion. "I wanted to save myself," Annabelle paused, glancing to her colt before continuing. "save my body for the one I was going to spend my life with. I wanted to bear their child. I wanted to be able to give myself to them and let them know I really, truly loved them." A look of disgust, anguish, shame, sadness and fury overcame her solemn facial expression as she continued. "But now, I can't. I've already been used."

Shaking her head, Annabelle looked away to where her foal was sleeping.

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Guilty and I'm broken down inside!

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Lyrics` World So Cold by Three Days Grace
Muse`Getting Better!
Speech` Sky Blue
Other`Sibby!

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[sibber-chow]

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[bg=green] The stallion’s ears flicked back at her tone as his own tail slapped at his quarters. “It isn’t that I think you are lying, Annabelle – “ he cut short of finishing his statement as she commanded the foal to get some rest. Eager blue eyes looked after Ahriman as if to make sure that no harm came upon his slumbering being. While he did not like the colt particularly, he knew it would devastate Annabelle were he to be put in harm’s way. And, another part of him worried that Orpheus might come to take the colt – the young one would have no chance to be good if raised by his father. Shifting his weight uneasily, Yamanu turned his attention back on Annabelle. “Don’t refer to yourself that way; while this may not have been your or anyone’s intentions – you do have a beautiful colt at your side and no one who cared for you would think any less of you for what has happened.” He reached out, nudging her wither softly before retracting quickly in fret that his touch might frighten her again. characters|| Yamanu word count|| 184 muse music|| three days grace ooc|| poor awkward yamanu

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[.r e e d.]

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I never thought I'd feel this,

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What have I been reduced to?

- Annabelle ground her teeth hard, jaw tightening as Yamanu nudged her wither softly. The mare was trying, trying as hard as she possibly could to keep her body from flinching instinctively.

As the stallion retracted his maw away from her body, the mare let out a forced sigh, as if she were holding her breath. "In my eyes, Yamanu, I.." Annabelle stopped to look at him for a couple minutes, chest pounding. "I don't feel like I'm good enough for you. If we were to," Annabelle paused, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to say. "to say, get together, I don't have anything to give you. Because, to be honest." The mare cut herself off there, chest pounding, blood raging through her ears. She watched closely, waiting for a response from the stallion.

"I'm sorry," The mare moved away from him, turning her head to gaze into the distance. What had she just done? She was jeopardizing their friendship, their relationship. She had gotten so close, so close that the stallion was even starting to open up to her. And the mare had already possibly ruined everything.

Annabelle had just ruined everything, the mare new it. Now, everything was going to fall apart. The mare was so used to being disappointed in life, she expected for everything to fall apart. But what if he felt the same way towards her? What if they shared the same feelings? The mare listened to her head, hoping, wishing she could hear her mother's voice right now. Yet, the mare heard nothing but her own thoughts racing, blood pounding in her ears and her chest pounding.

You're being stupid, Annabelle. He couldn't possibly have feelings for a pathetic mare like you. Look at you! You killed your own mother! You don't have anything to give him, you've been corrupted. You're not good enough for him.

The voice was coming back. It was back. It started when the mare murdered her mother. It was cruel, cold and demonic. The voice; it was in her head! That must mean she was near insanity again, her mental stability slipping once more like it had done nearly two years ago. Her body tensed up, jaw tightening. This time would be different. She would beat it this time, instead of just letting it fade away.

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Guilty and I'm broken down inside!

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Lyrics` World So Cold by Three Days Grace
Muse`o-o
Speech` Sky Blue
Other`Sibby!

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[bg=green] The young stallion’s heart ached as he listened to Annabelle speak so poorly of herself. He knew not what he could say or do to make her dismal thoughts better. Hell, the stallion’s self image was a wreck! How could he help her when he could not even help himself? With the stomp of his heavy hoof and the shake of his crown, Yamanu denied that last thought. Regardless of how he saw himself, it was his duty to make sure Annabelle was happy. He wanted that more than anything. A small, empathetic smile crossed his kissers as he moved to look the mare in the eyes. “Dear, I am descendant of the devil – my father and his before him are cruel-hearted bastards. I never want to become that myself, but it is a struggle to fight something embedded in you…” Yamanu paused, recalculating where he was going with this speech, “if anything, you deserve better than me. But, if you are willing to settle, I want to be there for you Annabelle. I promise, I will always be there for you.” The stallion whuffled lightly as his muzzle gently pressed against hers. His nostrils quivered slightly as he took in her scent before pulling back. Yamanu had decided he would not deny Annabelle of his emotions and feelings as long as she would have them and him. At the same time, he refused to be the selfish steed his blood longed for him to be – he would not be his father, taking what he pleased. It was up to Annabelle what he did next, and for once, Yamanu felt like things were right in the world and inside of him. characters|| Yamanu word count|| 281 muse music|| i'm not read to die - a7x ooc|| sorry it is so short /epic fail.

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I never thought I'd feel this,

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Am I ready for this?

- Annabelle peered at him with wide blue eyes. He was joking, wasn't he? He had to be joking. "I deserve better than you? Look at me, Yamanu! You deserve better than me." Heart racing and blood pounding through her ears, it was all the mare could do to keep from turning away as he touched her. The mare tensed her body, fighting her instincts to flee from his touch.

Nostrils flared as Yamanu finally moved away from her, her body relaxing. "Do you know how long I've waited for this moment?" A smile spread across her maw as she flicked her black and white whipcord nervously.

He's lying, you demented bitch. Of course he deserves better than you! You're a worthless whore! You just had his father's child! He can't possibly bear a feeling for you other than feeling sorry for you. Give up!

Annabelle's nostrils flared softly, ears flicking as the voice in her head attempted to put her down. Stomping a hoof, the mare shook her mane lightly. How she hated that voice!

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Guilty and I'm broken down inside!

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Lyrics` World So Cold by Three Days Grace
Muse`eck e_o
Speech` Sky Blue
Other`Pretend the foal is a week old and she's in heat so we can has babehs (;

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[bg=green] A firm frown sat across the stallion’s kissers as she continued to deny herself of worthiness. With a quiet snort, he decided not to press his feelings on that matter for the moment. Yamanu had a feeling it would take a while of healing to get Annabelle into a state where she understood how important she was to him. This healing process had only been delayed by his previous distance and, of course, his father’s most recent cruelty. Rage boiled momentarily as the stallion thought of him. However, he was quickly enough distracted as his childhood companion spoke once more. Ears flicked uneasily as she spoke. The stallion did know she had waited so long for him to be honest with her. He had known since they were young that he cared for him, and he had kept his emotions locked away. This feeling stung; Yamanu realized he had done the very thing he had sought not to do. He had hurt her by not letting her know his true feelings. Deep down he had hoped she would understand his coldness to be caused by his care – he could see otherwise now. All of these epiphanies were starting to give him a headache! Slapping his tail slightly, Yamanu snapped back into reality. “Annabelle, I have waited just as long, and I’m sorry that I kept us both waiting.” Whuffling gently, the stallion found himself mindlessly taking in her bodice. Her scent and sight was suddenly far more intoxicating than he had ever recalled. Realization of his gawking caused the paint to scoff at himself as he refocused his gaze off to the distance. He knew the hellish abomination of his father’s making resided nearby, yet he could not see it – to be honest he was glad of this. characters|| Yamanu word count|| 298 muse music|| greeeen day! ooc|| nom nom nom

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[.r e e d.]

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I never thought I'd feel this,

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- The mare's tail twitched nervously, a small smile on her mug. "We're together now," Her blue gaze moved temporarily away from the stallion to watch her foal for a few seconds, looking over his sleeping form. Why did he have to come from such a bastard of a father? But, because of his existence, the mare had finally came together with Yamanu. So everything does happen for a reason, the mare was sure of it.

Annabelle returned her gaze to Yamanu to see him looking over her frame closely. Shifting her weight, she watched the stallion intently. What was the meaning of that? Was he.. Interested in her sexually already? Part of her was uncomfortable and nervous, but another was thrilled! What was she to do?

Nostrils flared as the mare watches the handsome paint, fighting with herself on what to do. "What," the mare gave a small smirk, "was that about?"

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Guilty and I'm broken down inside!

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Lyrics` World So Cold by Three Days Grace
Muse`Getting better!
Speech` Sky Blue
Other`>3

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